getrid

CHURCH YOUTH GROUP EXTREMIST (CYGE)

Reason for Spy Services

Janice Kapp Perry, and other primary songs. These are songs from a time in their life when kids didn't ignore them. That was their happy time, and they refuse to move on.

Avoid all eye contact, CYGE's love to talk at church functions, and church functions only. If you do, later in your life you will need to pay alot of money for a spy to kill them off.

a CYGE does not drive they rely on all church leaders to pick them up. They will never take driver's ed, they will be one of the lonely few that relies on bus transportation when they finally reach the dreaded age where they can't attend Church Youth Groups anymore.

There's no time for TV, when you're anticipating this weeks Church Youth Group Social Dance

Typical Spy technique for Killing

A spy must attend several church group meetings with their nifty spy equipment. They get mucho information, when it's time to kill, they grab a balloon, and place it between the gun and the CYGE, he shoots. When everyone says, "what was that noise?" the spy holds up the balloon pieces and cries, "I popped my balloon!!!!"

There are so many typical CYGE's killed everyday by spies. That's because CYGE's are way annoying, and people are getting sick of being followed around by the once-a-week-only social CYGE.

Reason for Spy Services

All the Jock Jam compilations, Listening to Eye of the Tiger just before games, he's one of those kids that walks everywhere with headphones, and just listens to one song, eye of the tiger

It will suck if you go up against Athletitard playing defense. Athletitard plays real hard, but that's not the worst, Athletitard gets the farts with exercise.

A Datsun truck from like the 60's if they made them that long, most likely it's an ugly puke green that was bought off somedead farmer.

Typical Spy technique for Killing

Millions of hours, are spent each year helping teams get rid of Athletitards. Spies, are real smart and talented and they can play ten times better than an athletitard. The athletitard then wants to be the spy's friend. That's when the spy invites him to the showers, then shoots him.

Please be aware that spies have saved you so many times from athletitards, thank the heavens, for the wonderful gift of spies.

High School Idiot that thinks he's smart

Reason for Spy Services

Jerry Lee Lewis, and Disco. Most Meat Heads hord 8 tracks from garage sales, in a trailor park.

HS Idiot loves to talk about who died in the Civil War, sometimes he might state that he's doing research to see if he's related to the nobody that innocently died tripping in the march to the real battle of antietam.

Buick. The same one your grandpa drives. Sick huh.

Typical Spy technique for Killing

Spies learn the civil war language, and when those idiots re-enact the whole war, some spies there have real guns, and they "accidentally shoot them" come on, who would have known you were supposed to fake something when you re-enact it?

The HS idiot is much more rare than other spy victims, but still is twice as annoying. Spies kill them because they are ugly, not smart, and way stupid.

Your Girlfriend's Best Friend

(This just happens to be the single most annoying person in the world. Even more irritating than your mother interrogating you after the first day of school, if that’s even possible. Usually the exact opposite of what you look for in a girl (that means she’s fat),)

Reason for Spy Services

Theme song to the TV series Dawson’s Creek, which she puts on repeat and listens to over and over while she paints her toenails right in front of you and gives your girlfriend (who, of course, is superhot) fat-chick advice on how to do her hair. Some fat-chick dancing usually takes place. Always up to date on the latest teen boy band, i.e. ‘B2K’ or ‘DreamStreet’

Watch what you say to the Girlfriend’s Best Friend, it always comes around to slap you right in the face, and always in the form of your superhot girlfriends hand. The Girlfriend’s Best Friend is virtually indestructible, and never seems to stop trying to make your life extremely sucky.

The Girlfriend’s Best Friend’s car of choice would be a Volkswagen Jetta, but we all know that Jettas are hot girl cars, so she is usually stuck with a rabbit or golf or something real lame like that. You can count on it to be covered in stickers saying ‘cutie’ or ‘100% Angel’ or some other fat-chick wishful thinking.

Dawson’s Creek, Reba, and just about every other supersucky primetime TV series. She also loves dating shows, such as Shipmates or The 5th Wheel.

Typical Spy technique for Killing

Everyday dudes are hiring spies to take out the Girlfriend’s Best Friend. It’s a super covert mission that requires hours of spying and audio tracking. Spies are so freakin cool, they usually create a boy band to produce a pop song (the Girlfriend’s Best Friend can’t resist pop) and uses the song to brainwash her into killing herself. Then he kills the boy band.

If you’ve got a superhot girlfriend, chances are there’s a Girlfriend’s Best Friend suckin up your life. Get a spy to take her out, boom, no more Girlfriend’s Best Friend

High School Meat Head

Reason for Spy Services

80's Butt Rock...most likely Dio and anything else that is extremely white trash that you can think of.

Watch out for the three-point-stance...I can't stress it enough, that this can be deadly if you are found in the way of his charge, because if he's not on steroids then he's on it's supplement.

Nothing less than a 1983 FIREBIRD... yes. Now they can put the best tape deck in town and rock out to Ronnie James Dio until there ears bleed!!!

Seventh Heaven. you know that's at their thinking level. How many days do you think a meat head can go without seeing lucy's face? I don't think the number is very high.

Typical Spy technique for Killing

Since spies know that meat heads LOVE football, they fill the targeted Meat Head's football with a poisonous gas...not just any gas but the kind that makes you diarrhea all over yourself until you spraying blood...and then you die.

7th MEMBER OF LYNYRD SKYNYRD

Reason for Spy Services

I think you know. Also, anything with a banjo accompniament.

Be careful not to insult Elvis around them, or try to shovel off roadkill in their territory - they gotta eat somehow. If you want to fit in with them, sleeveless jean jackets are a must.

As mentioned before, a Chevy gashog. Usually a rusty green or blue color. Sometimes they can be found in El Camino's, because they get confused and think "Hey, a mini-truck," but this is rare. If you see a mullet flying freely through any given car window, that's them too.

It's a toss-up between The Beverly Hillbillies and the Dukes of Hazzard.

Typical Spy technique for Killing

A spy must infiltrate their trailor, find the medicine cabinet, and make the switch - that is, put rat poison in their generic ibuprofen tablet container. It's easy to get inside; they'll most likely be gone on a whiskey run. If a spy is spotted, they just tell them they're cousins, and they came for a visit. The victim will get excited and call his/her mother. Spy makes the switch, victim takes medicine because he can't stand the excitement, bingo, job complete.

Title	Athletitard
Reason for Spy Services	Sports requires players to play as a team, and to my knowledge, teams are better when they all like each other. Teams that have sweet relationships with one another, have probably hired spy services just to kil the Athletitard on their team. Athletitards think sports are way sweet, and they think they're good, but they're not, even the cheerleaders know they suck.
Favorite Music	All the Jock Jam compilations, Listening to Eye of the Tiger just before games, he's one of those kids that walks everywhere with headphones, and just listens to one song, eye of the tiger
Precautions	It will suck if you go up against Athletitard playing defense. Athletitard plays real hard, but that's not the worst, Athletitard gets the farts with exercise.
Type of car	A Datsun truck from like the 60's if they made them that long, most likely it's an ugly puke green that was bought off somedead farmer.
Favorite TV Show	Inside Stuff, He ain't got the stuff, so he's got to get it somewhere
Typical Spy technique for Killing	Millions of hours, are spent each year helping teams get rid of Athletitards. Spies, are real smart and talented and they can play ten times better than an athletitard. The athletitard then wants to be the spy's friend. That's when the spy invites him to the showers, then shoots him.
Excuse for Killing	The kid farts too much while running.
	Please be aware that spies have saved you so many times from athletitards, thank the heavens, for the wonderful gift of spies.

Title	High School Idiot that thinks he's smart
Reason for Spy Services	Idiot that thins he's smart would seem like he is your typical genius. Of course with the excessive acne and passion for talking/shouting at you, one would come to that conclusion. HS idiots think they are smart, and to a degree, they have a knowledge of certain topics on civil war history, and other retarded subjects. otherwise they think they're so stinking smart, but the spies know they aren't.
Favorite Music	Jerry Lee Lewis, and Disco. Most Meat Heads hord 8 tracks from garage sales, in a trailor park.
Precautions	HS Idiot loves to talk about who died in the Civil War, sometimes he might state that he's doing research to see if he's related to the nobody that innocently died tripping in the march to the real battle of antietam.
Type of car	Buick. The same one your grandpa drives. Sick huh.
Favorite TV Show	He would like you to think he watches the history channel, but we all know his favorite show is Entertainment Tonight. (no comment)
Typical Spy technique for Killing	Spies learn the civil war language, and when those idiots re-enact the whole war, some spies there have real guns, and they "accidentally shoot them" come on, who would have known you were supposed to fake something when you re-enact it?
Excuse for Killing	That tumor around his face would have gotten to him sooner or later.
	The HS idiot is much more rare than other spy victims, but still is twice as annoying. Spies kill them because they are ugly, not smart, and way stupid.

Title	7th MEMBER OF LYNYRD SKYNYRD
Reason for Spy Services	It's a proven fact that their huge trucks put out most of the exhaust into the sky that destroys the ozone. Spies don't care for ultraviolet rays or big annoying trucks.
Favorite Music	I think you know. Also, anything with a banjo accompniament.
Precautions	Be careful not to insult Elvis around them, or try to shovel off roadkill in their territory - they gotta eat somehow. If you want to fit in with them, sleeveless jean jackets are a must.
Type of car	As mentioned before, a Chevy gashog. Usually a rusty green or blue color. Sometimes they can be found in El Camino's, because they get confused and think "Hey, a mini-truck," but this is rare. If you see a mullet flying freely through any given car window, that's them too.
Favorite TV Show	It's a toss-up between The Beverly Hillbillies and the Dukes of Hazzard.
Typical Spy technique for Killing	A spy must infiltrate their trailor, find the medicine cabinet, and make the switch - that is, put rat poison in their generic ibuprofen tablet container. It's easy to get inside; they'll most likely be gone on a whiskey run. If a spy is spotted, they just tell them they're cousins, and they came for a visit. The victim will get excited and call his/her mother. Spy makes the switch, victim takes medicine because he can't stand the excitement, bingo, job complete.
Excuse for Killing	It's ok to wear the same T-shirt 5 days a week, except when it has a huge Confederate flag on it.
	It's important that air-guitarists for Skynyrd are eliminated, otherwise you'd be married to your sister... just trust it, somehow, you would. contributed by sammidood

Title	Your Girlfriend's Best Friend (This just happens to be the single most annoying person in the world. Even more irritating than your mother interrogating you after the first day of school, if that’s even possible. Usually the exact opposite of what you look for in a girl (that means she’s fat),)
Reason for Spy Services	way fat, and happens to resemble the evil goblins from Lord of the Rings, which she saw five times, on purpose). The Girlfriend’s Best Friend has trouble forming sentences without including one of the following words or phrases: Cute, Precious, Fun, …’but she’s so nice’, and/or sweet, (not as in ‘totally sweet’, like spies, mind you).
Favorite Music	Theme song to the TV series Dawson’s Creek, which she puts on repeat and listens to over and over while she paints her toenails right in front of you and gives your girlfriend (who, of course, is superhot) fat-chick advice on how to do her hair. Some fat-chick dancing usually takes place. Always up to date on the latest teen boy band, i.e. ‘B2K’ or ‘DreamStreet’
Precautions	Watch what you say to the Girlfriend’s Best Friend, it always comes around to slap you right in the face, and always in the form of your superhot girlfriends hand. The Girlfriend’s Best Friend is virtually indestructible, and never seems to stop trying to make your life extremely sucky.
Type of car	The Girlfriend’s Best Friend’s car of choice would be a Volkswagen Jetta, but we all know that Jettas are hot girl cars, so she is usually stuck with a rabbit or golf or something real lame like that. You can count on it to be covered in stickers saying ‘cutie’ or ‘100% Angel’ or some other fat-chick wishful thinking.
Favorite TV Show	Dawson’s Creek, Reba, and just about every other supersucky primetime TV series. She also loves dating shows, such as Shipmates or The 5th Wheel.
Typical Spy technique for Killing	Everyday dudes are hiring spies to take out the Girlfriend’s Best Friend. It’s a super covert mission that requires hours of spying and audio tracking. Spies are so freakin cool, they usually create a boy band to produce a pop song (the Girlfriend’s Best Friend can’t resist pop) and uses the song to brainwash her into killing herself. Then he kills the boy band.
Excuse for Killing	Try to find one not to.
	If you’ve got a superhot girlfriend, chances are there’s a Girlfriend’s Best Friend suckin up your life. Get a spy to take her out, boom, no more Girlfriend’s Best Friend